granny10's Cancer Blog
January 15, 2010
OK…. Only those of us who have or had cancer will truly understand where I’m coming from. Our family, close friends & all of our love ones, stand beside us, hold our hands when we are hurting, hold our heads when we are hugging, that, you know what…. Cry with us when we cry….. try to make us laugh when they can….drive us when we can’t drive….cook for us, when we can’t…even help us to eat.
BUT…. in the wee small hours of the night, when all around us are sleeping & we are in pain, either physical or mental….. we are ALONE.
Our kind of physical pain is horrible, by it’s self, but by
adding the MENTAL pain, it is sometimes worse. When the night is quiet, & we can’t sleep because we hurt, all we can think of is…......
” Oh my God, I’m hurting & it is growing inside of me again”
The truly sad part of this story is….. this happens more often than we will ever admit too. I hope when this happens to you….. & you are all alone in the middle of the night….. you will think of me (& others) who have walked this lonely, lonely path. I don’t know if this will help you, but morning WILL come. I don’t know why or how, but with the mornings light, we put back on our armor, fighting gloves & the happiest face we can muster up. Then we go back out to fight for Life AGAIN.
Remembering…..Any day is a good day, when we wake up looking down at the dirt, instead of up through it!
What we do ....... in the wee small hours of the night......., 
6 comments)
My Sweet Sandy!
Are you talking to me or what? Though I’ve always been a night owl…it has gone way to far for me. Last night bed came around 5 am. But managed to get up around 10…still not good. Night time is the time my brain goes into overdrive.
It worries and frustrates my family to no end! Makes me feel like I’m yet again some kind of failure cause I can’t conform to what they think I should be doing…which adds to my stress,,,and so on.
I hate mornings…unless I can look at it from a comfortable bed, roll over and doze a while longer.
But like you said (and I love the saying) Any day is a good day, when we wake up looking down at the dirt, instead of up through it!
Big hugs to you and I’ll try to catch you on the phone this weekend.
T
Posted on You are in my head, OMG, thank you for those words of wisdom. Sleep lasts until about 2 if I am lucky, then I am learning to put the IPOD on, music helps me more than anything. Keeps the tears silent, and your right, light brings back the fighting shell. Of course I have my lovely Bonnie Raitt, Stevie Ray, Eric Clapton, but when Canon in D Major hits all is well. How could it not with the beauty we know is there and make sure we see each and every second possible. I love you, thanks so much for writing. Peace, Sharron
Posted on Very well said, Sandy. I love your blogs. I am one of those survivors who still keeps up with everybody on BFAC so please add my name to the “list” of supporters for the ones who are in their own cancer battlefields at this time.
Take care everyone.
Posted on there is some comfort knowing that i am not the only person laying in bed awake and in pain. Today my son played a song on the guitar ‘boulevard of broken dreams” where the lyrics include “i walk alone” “my shadow’s the only one who walks beside me.” And I do feel so alone through all of this. Knowing there are others out there who have been there and pulled through, makes is less lonely. thanks for the new perspective. I needed it today.
Posted on Just wanted to come on here and say that I had one of these nights last night. Have them more often than not, but had one last night. And the pain part is sooooo true, my back was aching and sent me into an emotional turmoil, was by myself, kids at their dads. So I was here alone with my thoughts. Back ache probably just from bad mattress and sleeping in an uncomfortable position, but that would be too easy of an explanation! LOL
Posted on Okay, we all need TRUTH shirts! I laughed so hard that I cried. That was a pricelsss note you left on my blog.
I wory it’s growing in the weee hours of the night as well, but how much more can it grow. I really do not want to find out. Cancer so sucks and I am so sick of it!
I love you dear friend…
Sonia
Posted on 
Thanks for your support - 
